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The Wish

Waking from a dream, I heard dialogue and saw it written on the pages of a book. The Lord said, “I understand, you’ve never felt so ‘senedd’ before.” I’d never heard this word, but I was now hearing it so clearly that I had to get up to search what it meant.

I grabbed my phone beside the bed and googled to find, “According to Collins COBUILD dictionary, it means you want to ‘return to a simpler way of living,’ sparked by a wish to revert to that mythical Eden before the fateful apple was gnawed.” *


Do we wish to return to an Eden-like communion with the Father (that is no more mythical than my physical body is) or have we become so attuned to the things of the world that we’ve forgotten?

Do we believe that what we see is all we’ve ever known?

If you get quiet and search the stillness within, can you find the gnawing sense to return to simplicity, shared before all was touched, darkened and ravaged by sin? Can you sense a longing for communion that was once experienced deep in our being?

The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit remember.

What if we allowed God to awaken the great longing to walk in the cool of the day with the One who formed us and blew His breath, bringing us to life?

What if the feel of the earth, the wind and all of creation could help bring back remembrance?

Would we step aside in our minds and memories for a moment, turning from the common “knowing” of how a human being is formed? (We know it that takes a mother to receive and a father to give, and we can look inside with machine and see the child forming within the womb.) But would we consider a more ethereal, miraculous knitting together that takes place, between Creator and created?

Reach back into memory of the Father’s hands tenderly forming cells and choosing your particular make-up. Think of the safety of resting within those hands before being placed inside of womb, warm. And upon entry into this fallen world, how a first breath was given before it was ever taken.

Life. Breath. Communion.

He’s calling us to return to the simple, truer way of living, communing, and sharing perfect breath with Him, the Life-Giver who loves perfectly.

HE says, “There’s never been a breath that I didn’t give.

And although we sense such independence and we like our pretending, there is no such thing.

First breath and every single one after is a gift. What if we lived, not to grow independent of the Giver of Breath, but realized and even rested in our dependence, with gratitude and trust, breathing with Him as connected child?

What if we allowed ourselves to desire something so familiar and true that nothing has seemed so right as this?

Awaken the longing.

Remember the wish.

Take hold of the thread that traces back, all the way back to the beginning. Past the school yard with boys and girls. Beyond the first home with bicycles and water hoses and backyard swings.

Yes, further back still.

Back to the beginning of quiet, fearless night. Before being born—when eyes looked with wonder at Creator, missing absolutely nothing.

Yes, stay right here within that memory: unaware of shame or need or pain. Because all is whole when face to face with the most brilliant, Shining One. With eyes on you, Abba declared, “She is Good!” or, “He is good!

Stay there, stay here, and sense His pleasure shining warmth. Receive His approval like laying back in a hammock swing, soaking up the afternoon sun.

At your beginning, the Son and the Spirit amplified in agreement with the Father, “Yes, this one is beautifully good!

This was before being broken by broken things. This was when you received Love and reflected it back and knew nothing but to believe.

Breathe in that same holy, given breath and know His delight—is in you.

Close your eyes and let the Father’s unparalleled love sink in.

Let it go deeper, deeper still.

Can you see the Father’s face—laughing, smiling joy over you? He loves you and delights in what He’s made!

What He has declared as beautiful and good, is there any one of us who could or should say otherwise?

Who are we to think we are worthless? Who are we to look for value apart from His approval, the perfect approval that He’s already given?

Now, like a nighttime dream, the Father whispers to you too, “I understand, you’ve never felt so ‘senedd’ before. I awaken the desire to return to a simpler way of living. Return to being known, accepted, and loved by your Creator. Come back and commune with Me.”

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.
John 1:12-13 NLT

Sin separates us from God. But when we believe, we can once again come close. Believing that Jesus is the Son of God and accepting Him as LORD is the way to return to Creator, as dependent, created one.

Miraculously, through believing, we are forgiven and once again accepted because of the death and resurrection of Jesus. Through Him, we’re washed clean and welcomed into the family as a child of God. Because of Jesus we share close communion with the Father once again.

To get back to the beginning, we simply believe and follow the pull to find our way Home.

*(I accessed the Collins Dictionary online on 6/15/20 and found the definition above, but strangely enough, can no longer find the link.)


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